Ed-Lander
by rivwhite.stu
Summary: Note: I do NOT own Ed Edd N' Eddy or Highlander.
1. The Discovery

Chapter 1: The Discovery.

The camera opens up to Ed running around the park and laughing when all of the sudden, he trips over an object causing Ed to fall flat on his face. He lifts his head from the ground then turns around and discovers an old sword stabbed into the ground with "MacLeod" written across the rain guard.

Ed: Wow….It's a sword.

Ed attempts to pull it out of the ground but starts to experience flashbacks of his old days as Luthor Macleod The Viking Warrior back in 1536 in Scotland going to war with The Kurgan and his clan.

Ed (Luthor): To war! I am Luthor Macleod of the Clan Macleod!

He snaps out of the flash back and pulls the sword out of the ground.

Ed: I gotta bring this to Double D!

He took it to Double D's to have a look at it. The camera cuts to Double D's bed room with Ed, Double D & Eddy to  
examine the sword even closer.


	2. Examining The Sword

Chapter 2: Examining of the sword.

Double D: My my, intriguing. This is a very rare Clan Macleod sword from the 1500's.

Eddy: Yeah yeah, Is it worth money to buy us jawbreakers!?

Double D: Well, yes, but it belongs to someone so we will not sell it for jawbreakers.

Eddy: Gosh dang it!

Double D: If we could find the immortal who owns this sword, then we made a revolutionary discovery.

Eddy: Maybe Ed is.

Double D: Nah, that's silly.

Double D says as Ed impales himself on a javelin. The camera cuts to Ed with a javelin impailed into his heart and still alive and well.

Ed: Oops, sorry.

Ed rips out the javelin from his chest and throws it out the window.

Double D: ED! Your immortal!

Ed: I am?

Double D: Yes! This is amazing, but another legend says that the one called Highlander and The Kurgan are still alive to this day, and one day if they ever have a sword battle, the world would never be the same.

Ed: What's The Highlander?

Double D: You, Ed…..

Ed: Alright! I am the immortal warrior!

Eddy: What's The Kurgan?

Double D: He is the meanest, most evil and perfect immortal warrior, nobody could ever stop him, except The Highlander.


	3. The Kurgan

Chapter 3: The Kurgan.

The camera cuts to a black mustang driving on the street with The Kurgan (voiced by Clancy Brown) driving it.

The Kurgan: I will find you, Luthor….

The Kurgan says as he pops in a CD which plays "Gimme The Prize" on a very loud stereo system in his car. The camera cuts to the outside of the car and goes to a motel to rent a room for the night to hunt down The Highlander which is Ed. The camera cuts to the motel room with The Kurgan practicing his sword skills.

The Kurgan: At last, the gathering.


	4. The memories of Luthor

Chapter 4: The memories of Luthor.

The camera cuts to Ed sleeping in his bedroom and having dreams as Luthor from his days when he was training with Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez (voiced by Sean Connery) to sword battle. Juan decided to break the fourth wall.

Juan: Incase you haven't notice, this is a Highlander parody.

Juan says as they stop practicing sword battles.  
Ed (Luthor): Why do we have to fight?

Juan: Because I am helping you to defeat The Kurgan.

Ed (Luthor): *Drops sword* I don't wanna fight, I wanna be a magical ballerina pixie fairy.

Ed (Luthor) says as Juan smacks him upside the head to pay attention.

Juan: NO! There is no such thing as happiness and freedom! Now we got to continue your training!

The continued there sword battles, the camera cuts to Ed (Luthor) in the woods. Ed (Luthor) tries to sneak up on Juan sitting on a fallen tree, but Juan was to quick and Ed (Luthor) tries to slash his sword behind him but he moved very quickly and missed then Juan put his sword blade on top of his neck.

Juan: Never lose your temper, otherwise your head comes off your body.

The camera cuts to them under water practicing there sword battles.

Juan: You can never strike too hard or too weak.

The camera cuts to the cliffs continuing there sword battles.

Juan: Once the one claims the prize, claims unlimited power.

Ed (Luthor) finally defeats juan as his sword falls into the canyon. Ed (Luthor) cheers in victory. The camera cuts to them riding on the horses on to a hill.

Ed (Luthor): What is The Kurgan?

Juan: The most powerful Immortal ever, the perfect warrior, he finds other Immortals and slaughters them until he's the only one left. And in the end, there can be only one.

The camera cuts to a tower house with Juan having a drink of whisky, but all of the sudden The Kurgan bursts through the door.  
Juan: Kurgan!

The Kurgan: Ramirez….

Juan: I knew this day would come!

The Kurgan: Where's The Highlander!?

Juan: Your too late! I've trained him to defeat you!

The Kurgan: You waste your time!

The Kurgan strikes with his broad sword but Juan blocks it with his katana, they have a sword fight and they walk up the steps. The building collapse while lightning strikes. They both got up to the top step with the building destroyed, The Kurgan stabs Juan and makes him turn around to decapitate him.

The Kurgan: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

The Kurgan yells as he slices off Juan's head and absorbs his power.

The Kurgan: YES! Your next Macleod!


	5. The Confession

Chapter 5: The confession.

Ed wakes up from his dream in the morning and the camera cuts to him swinging coat hangers on his ears.

Eddy: Hey Lumpy! Come on we gotta tell everyone your immortal!

Ed: Alright.

Double D: NO!

Eddy: Why not?

Double D: Because if you reveal your immortality, The Kurgan will find him.

Eddy: Oh, what's the worst that could happen? Come on!

Ed: Okay.

Double D: Oh, this is the end already.  
The camera cuts to the middle of the Cul-De-Sac with Ed & Eddy standing in the middle with all of the kids circled around them.

Eddy: Alright everyone! This man has to make an announcement!

Johnny 2x4: Ooo Ooo Ooo! What is it!?

Kevin: This better be good.

Eddy: Go ahead lumpy, tell him!

Ed: Alright. I am Luthor Macleod of the Clan Macleod, I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel. And I am immortal.

Ed stabs himself with the Macleod sword causing everyone to panic in shock. They all realize that he was okay and they were surprised to see what happened. The camera cuts to the Motel at night.

The Kurgan: The time has come, I'm coming for you MacLeod.

The Kurgan leaves the motel and he sees his car getting towed.

The Kurgan: God dammit!

The Kurgan spots a pink convertible with Miss Miller (from Alvin and the Chipmunks) driving in it and The Kurgan walks up to it.

Miss Miller: Oh my god! A mugger!

The Kurgan picks up Miss Miller by her neck collar and puts her on the passenger seat. The Kurgan jumps in the driver's seat.

Miss Miller: Mother of God.

The Kurgan looks at her for a second.

The Kurgan: MOM! BOO!

Miss Miller screams and The Kurgan starts driving like a maniac while the song "Don't Lose Your Head" by Queen. He speeds through the driveway and hitting cars and bikes on his way to kill Ed and take his power. The Kurgan starts to sing along the song.

The Kurgan (singing): Don't lose your heeaaaaad! Don't lose your head. Now don't lose your heeeaaaaaaad!

Miss Miller: Shut up.

The Kurgan: Come on sing with me.

Miss Miller: Shut up!

The Kurgan: Remember, love's stronger, remember, love walks taaaaaaaaaallll!

Miss Miller: SHUT UUUUUUUP!

The Kurgan: Ha ha….

Miss Miller (in fear) & The Kurgan (in sarcasm) : SHUT UUUUUUUP!

The camera cuts to the car's point of view driving on a bridge and cuts to the bridge then cuts back to the car while Freddie Mercury sings "New York, New York" off screen.

Freddie Mercury (singing off screen): Here I come New York, New York, you're gaining on me New York, you're just that one step far away. But I'm here to stay New York, (you're gaining on me) stop gaining on me New York, you're just that one step far away. But I'm here to stay. You can't catch me New York.


	6. The Final Battle

Chapter 6: The Final Battle.

The camera cuts to Double D playing the voice message of The Kurgan coming for Ed.

The Kurgan (on the voice message): Hello, I know where you are, Luthor, be prepared because I will have your head, and the prize.

Double D: You see! Do you realize what you have done!?

Double D says in anger.

Eddy: Relax, he don't even know where we live.

A blackout occurs and everyone in there home looked out and they see The Kurgan.

Eddy: Is that The Kurgan?

Double D: That's him.

Eddy: Quick, I have an idea.

The camera cuts to Eddy locking the front door.

Eddy: There problem solved.

The Kurgan busts through the door.

Eddy & Double D: The the the the the the the….THE KURGAN!

The Kurgan: Where is the Highlander!?

Ed: Right here you big meanie!

The Kurgan: At last…..

Ed: You leave my friends alone! This is between you and me now!

The Kurgan: Alright then, The prize is MINE!

Ed & The Kurgan start sword fighting in the house destroying all the furniture and nick nacks. They then fight there way to the Cul-De-Sac and having the fast phase sword battle. Ed loses his sword which is now The Kurgan's chance to kill him.

The Kurgan: Now it ends, but first….I have something to say! It's better to burn out, then to fade away!

The Kurgan tries to strike at Ed's head but he misses and Ed runs to his sword and picks it up.

Ed: Let's boogie!

The Kurgan tries to slash at Ed, but he stabs him in the chest causing him to fall on his knees.

Ed: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

Ed shouts out as he slices off The Kurgan's head. The souls and power of past immortals leaves the headless body of The Kurgan. All of the sudden, all the houses exploded and a vortex like hurricane with souls circles around Ed with lighting around him and his eyes glow white.

Ed: Yes! The Prize! The Power! I know everything! I am everything! I have the power!

Ed yells out as he accidentally shoots lightning at his little sister Sarah which causes her to explode.


	7. The End

Chapter 7: The End.

Ed falls on top of his head and the ghost of Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez appears.

Juan: You have done well, My Child. Now use your powers wisely.

Ed: I will My Master!

The camera cuts to the Planet Earth exploding because of Ed. He then starts flying.

Ed: UNLIMITED POWER!

Juan: *Sigh* Is this really how Highlander ended?

Ed & Juan's Ghost then flies to Planet Disco and partied for the rest of there lives.

THE END.


End file.
